The Best Lesbian Porn on Television

Don’t get excited, it is not the best pick for heterosexual men looking for girl-on-girl action. These are the top five television shows for lesbians.  It is not always about sex.  It is about powerful woman doing their thing and getting paid for it . . . without any male sidekick.  Some are in fact gay while others I want to put on my wish list for Christmas to come out of the closet.

Starting at the bottom, we have

5) Ellen Degeneres : “The Ellen Degeneres Show”

The new Mary Tyler Moore with a twist. Degeneres joins fellow autodidact Bill Gates on the Hollywood “A” list.  From stand up comic , sitcom star, talk show host and into mainstream movies Degeneres has proven to herself “You’re gonna make it after all”!

Porn Worthy Reasons

Whether you are straight or lesbian Ellen is fun to watch.  She has made the Academy Awards bearable, looking for Nemo fun and brought back dancing.

Best Line : November 2001 (post 9/11) Emmy Awards “We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a homosexual woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?”

The Ellen Empire is not at all going anywhere.  If Oprah can make her “OWN” network, I can see the same for Ellen.  It is time to put entertainment back on Television.

URL : http://ellen.warnerbros.com/

4) Battlestar Galactica

On Battlestar Galactica there are strong, aggressive, sexy and intelligent women (some are even lesbians).  Going into the future you would think that equality of sexual identity and gender is no longer an issue, even Gene Roddenberry would be proud.

Porn Worthy Reasons

  • Tough women. It is not always about the sexual identity but the way the storyline allows a woman to be both strong and sensitive.  All that is missing is Maude!
  • Science fiction has always allowed women to be strong leaders, but in the past (at least in US television) all women seem to have opposite-sex interest. Battlestar Galactica has allowed for all types of relationships and has a very faithful following.
  • Have you seen the uniforms?
  • Hello! A female Starbuck AND Xena in the same show!

URL : http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/

3) Suze Orman : “The Suze Orman Show”

In the words of ABBA “Money, money, money Must be funny In the rich mans world Money, money, money” Orman found it was a “rich man’s world”.  In 1980, a longtime customer gave Orman (currently a waitress) a loan of $50,000 to help her fulfill her dream of opening her own restaurant. Orman invested the money at Merrill Lynch, but four months later was broke again, after she was swindled by her stockbroker. Orman returned to Merrill Lynch and entered their training program to become an account executive. She discovered through her training that her stockbroker had committed an illegal act and she thus sued Merrill Lynch. Suze received the entire $50,000 back plus interest and was able to payback her longtime customer.

Porn Worthy Reasons

She knows how to make, keep, invest and spend money. A skill any woman would love to have.  Intelligence is attractive but pair it with the huevos to go out and get the cash to make your life and your loved ones comfortable, that’s lesbian porn.  Now with  “The Suze Orman Show” she tells people if they should or shouldn’t spend their money.  She is honest and doesn’t sweeten her words.

My Favorite : Robert asks Suze if he can afford a $1,500 trip to a Star Trek convention (watch here)

She is all NY Power Lesbian with money combined with a strong working ethics . . . makes Wall Street and the Bush Administration bailout look bad.  Move over Paulson . . . it is time for Orman to be Secretary of Treasurer!!!

URL : http://www.suzeorman.com/

2) Cat Cora : “Iron Chef America”

April 2005, when she was invited to be the first female challenger on the popular competitive cooking series Iron Chef America. Her appearance on Iron Chef was so successful that the Food Network asked her to stay on as a regular chef on the show, and the rest is culinary television history.

Porn Worthy Reasons

She plays with the big boys! Television chefs (not cooks) have mainly been men, exception to Julia Child, and to break that glass ceiling in skill, talent and popularity is most porn worthy.

To watch Iron Chef America, when Cat Cora is competing against a man, it can stir the emotions equivalent to watching “Battle of the Sexes” (Riggs vs King).  With each chop of a onion, slice of a pepper, plating and the creative use of the ‘secret ingredient’ she does it for all women towards another win tally.

URL : http://www.catcoracooks.com/

1) Victoria Stilwell : “It’s Me or the Dog”

Victoria knows her bitches.  She was an actor (London’s West Wing) supplementing her dwindling income by dog walking (started walking one dog a day and by the end of the month 20 a day). While dog walking she became very interested in animal behavior and with many trainer’s influence she is the woman worth watching on the BBC’s original program “It’s Me or The Dog” (Animal Planet).

Porn Worthy Reasons

It’s a show with a woman who basically wears a dominatrix outfits putting people and their pets in place.  Watching the show with Victoria in full black, riding boots while driving a Jaguar (top down) is the ultimate free lesbian soft porn.

Note: The US version has her softened up a bit wearing white and driving a VW convertible.  Poor Americans can’t handle black leather and only hot cars can be driven by men. What the hell?

To see a strong, educated woman in a position that (people either listen for a successful relationship with their pets or don’t listen and fail) can make serious difference in people lives.  But it is so fun to watch her get angry at those who don’t.

URL : http://www.victoriastilwell.com/

Victoria would have made a great lesbian . . . at least she knows how to dominate!

Honorable Mentions