According to ChristWire, article written by Stephenson Billings, there are 15 signs that identify your husband as a homosexual, “Is My Husband GAY?“. At fist I thought it was a satire site in the same genre as The Onion or National Lampoon; it was not. According to Billings going to gym, not wearing a shirt on a hot day, using your hands when talking to a group and having a clean home are sure signs that your husband is gay.
There is a constant discussion about gay men and the traits associated with a future homosexual from sources like Focus on the Family and other extreme religious organizations that instill fear and false information. Focus on the Family says, concerning gender confusion in children,
“It is more important for parents to lovingly, calmly but confidently steer fem-boys into more masculine directions. Make sure you find masculine things your boy is interested and can find identification in. All boys need to be intentionally welcomed into the world of men, and both mother and father play a key role here. Girls, likewise, need to be introduced into the world of women.”
But what it is too late? What if you married a wonderful woman and wonder if she is a big lesbian? What are the signs?
For the husband unsure about his wife’s proclivities, the most important thing is to first confirm your suspicions. Drawing on the expertise of spiritual and medical professionals, The Contemplation has put together a list of 10 commonly-accepted characteristics of women struggling with lesbianism within a marriage:
1. Your Home Isn’t Tidy or Meal Made
A woman is naturally a nurturer and feels obligated to keep a house clean and all meal made hot for their husbands. This might have been so in the beginning of your marriage. Did she stop cleaning up after you? Did the meals become less elaborate? This is not a sign of boredom but the first sign to the slippery slope of muff diving. What every you do, do not step up to help clean the home, doing laundry or preparing meals. This could be the start of your demise into homosexuality (See #4).
2. Her Appearance Is Suffering
Has her wardrobe slowly altered? Does she wear comfortable shoes, shorts and t-shirts instead of the skirts, pumps and heels? Does she no longer asks if her butt looks big after she get dressed? Does she just pick the first outfit she finds or does she go through multiple fittings until she found the perfect look? Lesbians are not attracted to beautiful woman found in magazines, they prefer the girl that looks like a boy. Nothing pleases the lesbian pack more than all wearing t-shirts, boot cut jeans and doc martins; they take pleasure in all looking alike. A straight woman would be devastated if anyone is wearing the same ensemble. Which is why lesbians like playing sports, to look alike.
lesbians going to the movies to see SALT
Another sign is a short haircut, the instinct of a woman is to have long flowing hair. Any woman who decides to have short hair is obviously cheating on you with another woman. Short hair is exclusive to the gay lifestyle. In fact; there are specific lesbian haircuts and they can be found on lesbianhaircuts.com.
3. Never Asks About Fat
She stop going to the gym. A real women feels obligated to stay fit and thin. If you wife starts to gain weight – she is slowly remove all feminine curves and merging into a male like silhouette. A lesbian has to strip all feminine traits which includes a fit body. A straight woman only wants to be goggled by men while lesbians do not want to be goggled by anyone, it is offensive. Taking on weight is a sure sign; also remember she’s no longer making meals at home; which means only one thing – she is eating out.
Fast Food and Lesbians Have Been Part of History. Unlike Straight housewives who make sure healthy balanced meals are made three times a day.
4. She Has Become a Wall Flower
Lesbians do not like to stand out in a crowd; unlike straight woman who invest time and energy into their look, getting attention in a room solidifies her success. A straight woman knows how to work the room, it is instinct; straight women know how to adapt to all topics of conversations and never forget to make sure everyone else has a drink, even at the expense of her empty glass. The mind of a lesbian develops quite selfish behavior and no longer care about those around her. Which is why her social skills will become anti-social.
Cartoon Demonstrates Future Lesbian Anti-Social Traits
5. Cheap Shoes
Straight women always dress from the bottom up and take great pains in making sure shoes are perfect. If your wife starts to shop at thrift stores, cheap discount stores or even Wal-mart for her shoes it is only a matter of time before those combat boots become a dominate part of her wardrobe.
Straight women shoes cost between $250 – $750, if your wife goes below $225 for a pair of shoes please seek counseling immediately.
Side Note: If she buys flat shoes at any given time it is too late. Lesbians do not want to be tall. Height is to dominate other females. Lesbians view high heels, especially stiletto shoes, to be unattractive and repulsive.
Here are Young Lesbians Wearing Combat Boots
6. She Takes on Man Chores
Does you wife insist on mowing the lawn? Does she love going to Home Depot? Does she have her own hammer? Sorry to tell you, but your wife is a big hardcore dyke. Lesbians love projects, especially if there is a power tool involved.
Side Note: Martha Stewart is an OWL (Old Wise Lesbian) which is not a “good thing”.
7. No Sexual Demands
Does she seem uninterested in sex? Straight women want to have sex with the only person who said “I Do”. It is a scientifically proven fact that women emotionally and sexually bond with a mate for life. Straight married women constantly demand sexual satisfaction from their husbands. If you are repeatly turned away or never approached for sex, at least daily, there is a problem with your wife’s sexual preference.
8. Your Personal Collection Has Been Tampered
Do you notice your porn collection is a little out of order or the porn tape was not put back into the sleeve properly? Is your shared computer constantly filled with extra pictures on the hard drive? One of the reasons she is not doing her house chores or making you dinner is to the addiction of girl-on-girl action.
The good news, this porn addiction is only temporary and you will have your computer back to ultimate speed. Lesbians don’t find porn appealing due to the lack of blue jeans and short hair girls. The bad news, she will start hiding her own stash somewhere you can’t find (hint it is usually behind the tupperware on the 2nd shelf shelf in the fridge).
Side Note: If she buys her own computer please use a service like Logmein.com or hack it via your home network to keep tabs. Giving her the privacy will only get her deeper into the lesbian life. Lesbians love technology. If your wife starts a blog, stop her immediately, this is a dangerous road that only leads to other lesbian encounters.
Your wife is a big fat lesibian if this is her computer mouse.
9. Coffee Shops
She no longer has interest in VH1 and wants to hangout in coffee shops to listen to folk music.
All Lesbians Know "The Planet" Is the Best Place for Coffee and Music
10. Too Many Facebook Friends
By now you know the internet is a dangerous place for a straight woman. The lesbians have special blogs, newspapers, online stores, Facebook pages and their own special code called the LLN (Lesbian Lookout Node). This LLN code is hidden in every website and keeps track of straight women and surfing habits. When a pro-lesbian pattern emerges lesbian leaders utilize social networks to bring her into the lesbian sub culture.
If you notice that your wife has a large number of social network friends, to which you have no memory of meeting in person or mentioned by your wife, the LLN is tracking and honing in on her signal. The only option at this time is have all your straight male friends (and their friends) to “befriend” your wife on the social network. To flood your wife’s Facebook with male friends will surely turn off the lesbians from the scent.
Side Note: Do not let your wife play Frontierville on Facebook. This game is especially made by the LLN. During game play your wife will have to be married. If she picks another woman to be her spouse the LLN will send special rewards to her avatar and game play until she moves on the Oregan Trail. The LLN also includes special testing code to match her perfect job and someone will befriend her to apply. The job will be in Massachuetts, Iowa, DC or California, where lesbian population is powerful; it will be a job which she will not be able to refuse.
Does your wife like gaming? Then she is a lesbian. Only lesbians want to pretend to be someone else or live in a different reality; straight girls are content in their status and place within reality.
More Resources and Articles
- Toasters and Lesbians, the Kitchen’s Only Connection
- The Secret Life of LLN Programmer
- Lesbian Blog Network
- Lesbian Characters in Gaming
I just hope I made a difference for someone’s marriage. This is a simple resource for married couple and I hope you see spiritual counseling and take serious steps in making sure your wife stays straight.